Dear diary,

When will this torment end?

As I’m too drained to write a lot I will simply give you a brief summary about to how my day went. :*(

6am: woke up and played ANGRY BIRDS on the PC

6:30am: Naola woke the rest of the house when she found a cockroach crawling right above her on the ceiling.

6:31am: Naola still screaming, R.I.P cockroach (You died a ninja’s death).

6:35am: Found a cockroach in my school bag when I attempted to fetch my pencil. Woke uncle up (I now wish I hadn’t).

7am: Mommy left for work with a smile on her face. She gave me a recipe book for no apparent reason and advised me to read it like a bible. (?_?)

7:15am – 7:30am: returned to ANGRY BIRDS (I’m so pro that I got 3 stars on every stage in the ‘Poached Eggs’ level). Watched a few music videos too (I loved Mo’cheddah’s Louder video best).

7:30am: Torture begins. Uncle asked me to watch the news again. >L, doesn’t he ever quit? I simply told him what I thought about watching the news and we got into a fierce argument that ended with Naola crying and my uncle adam’s apple rising and falling like a bungee jumper. Actually the argument ended with me watching the news any way plus I had to wash the dinner plates from the night before.

8am: I told Naola that I was sorely tempted to spray insecticide in Uncle’s breakfast and the little pest went on to Uncle and repeated my words. Now I got to watch my back in my own house. Uncle asked me to repeat the news I had watched and I sullenly did:

a.)    Attack on the V.P’s house in either Sokoto or Kaduna. (well there was a bomb blast too so I got the location mixed up.)

b.)    Femi Falana, a lawyer, blames the deplorable state in Nigeria on two former Heads of State: Mr Olusegun Obasanjo and Mr Ibrahim Babangida.

c.)     President Jonathan with wife is headed to Jamaica and Trinidad and Tobago for some celebration (Uncle reckons we need him more here).

d.)    The Nigerian Police are to have new code of conduct. (frankly I believe they need a serious reform)

e.)    India suffering massive power outage that renders nearly half of the country in total blackness (I actually read more about this story online. It would seem that some states over there are using more power than others. Sorry India, Nigeria is probably the only country in the world that understands how you feel.)

Thanks to Mr WaryWatcher

After listening to five minutes worth of news from Dakore Boyo Network my Uncle went to bed about 10 minutes later and I finally had my peace. Naola followed me everywhere after that and I couldn’t shake her loose; she probably thought I would apply tooth paste around my Uncle’s eyes while he slept (hehehehe, well I was sorely tempted to at a point in time).

The rest of the day blurred into each other like fog.

Now I wish to make a point. Uncle told me about a member of the national house of assembly who got arrested after receiving bribe (the money involved could pay my school fees for ages and ages to come). According to my uncle he mentioned that he was framed and at first tried to deny the crime (!).

This is just so sad; SAD AND WICKED. Whether he was framed or no he still took the money; He robbed Nigeria his country and he could have gotten away with it. There are probably more people like him seating their fattened bums upon important seats in government and are swallowing large sums of money on a daily basis. They buy jets and mansions (did I not mean to write ‘Palaces’?) and they live abroad and get fatter and fatter.

I don’t think they really understand what money is really for. I might be young and inexperienced but I do know that money is used to buy things we need. For example if I need to go to the CINEMA to watch a movie then I get busy, make some money and then go enjoy myself. The same goes for everything else in life. Money is meant to get you what you want.

Now I don’t think these people need money that much. They are probably worth Millions of Naira already. What else do they need to go stealing money for? I would certainly understand if they were hoarding that entire sum maybe to buy Nuclear weapons and wage a war or maybe they wished to buy a place on the moon, or maybe they wish to make their country better with charities. If you asked any of them why they are robbing the country they would probably give that ever nauseous reply: “For my children and generations to come.”

With the rate things are going Nigeria is certainly going to explode soon.

thanks to Mr WaryWatcher

Dear Diary,

            I decided to take up watching News programmes today. You wouldn’t believe the stories you learn about just by sitting still in front of the TV and watching a reporter go on and on. I wouldn’t say I particularly enjoyed watching the News (I skipped most of the part and checked out my favourite soaps and cartoons once or twice {or thrice} especially during advertisements and Headlines. But I did listen to the news and I solemnly declare that I shall do so tomorrow and the day after until holidays evaporate. (I hope you are happy now Uncle…)

            But seriously watching the news is kinda boring. There are thousand other things a girl can watch on the television and they are all educative too.  Plus watching news all day doesn’t really help with maturity (hehe I just quoted my friend Saddiya there word for word). No wonder adults always look so glum, ‘cos they watch news all day.  I can actually count how many times I sat in front of a TV and switched to a News channel:

1.)    Probably when I was still a foetus: Mommy watches the News approximately 18 hours a day. She watches the news while she cooks, she watches the news in the bathroom (I’ve seen her plenty), she watches the news at work, she watches the news in the car…she probably watches the news in her dreams at night (Oh let’s see: “Mr Somto here. Good evening Mrs Boyo. This is the network news reporting from your sleepy head. First the headlines…). My mommy watched the news the day I was born so there lies my first News view count.

2.)    5 yrs. old: Some Plane Crash occurred and I watched the news because we got a family member flying that day.

3.)    7 yrs. old: Entertainment news. I watched something about Lindsay Lohan.

4.)    9 yrs. old: I can’t really remember why (?_?)

5.)    Present day: Olympics!!! What else?? (OOooOO I forgot about the Dana Plane crash. May the souls of the victims rest under the wings of God)

I could go on venting my frustration at News programmes (You can’t blame me; I just spent 5 hours warming my buttocks before one) or I could simply tell you about the rest of my day. Of course the content of this blog happened yesterday which reminds me that I have to proceed on a path of freedom from my horrid procrastinating {thank you Microsoft for including spell check in Microsoft Word without which I might have committed unforgivable crimes against the English language}.

Monday has always been a busy day for me. I either go to school or to my Mom’s workplace.  However my uncle was home and he hasn’t seen me for ages and he asked mommy if he could spend the day with me before he travels again (Bless him). Mommy had no choice but to oblige {spell check again} and I got stuck with this uncle. That was when my day took a strange turn.

The drama started when he asked me if i could make EBA and I answered calmly and with a smile “No.” After that I never knew our Kitchen could be such a dismal place (before then the kitchen was some sort of haven). I made Eba for everybody in the family, and then I prepared another in the afternoon when Naola’s home tutor called and made a rather “harmless” comment that she was hungry (I noticed she studied the paste I dropped before her rather suspiciously before eating it). Eba is such hardwork. Why was it ever invented?

My beloved uncle didn’t stop there. He asked me around 10am if I watched the news on a regular basis. I stood before him with my ninja look and tried to decipher the reason he asked (after sweating in a kitchen for two hours you couldn’t blame me). He asked again and I quickly changed the topic (Notice to all the girls out there: If you are questioned by an Uncle and you do not wish to answer, quickly ask him this question: “Please dear Uncle,could I trouble you to explain to me what the word Glossophobia means? Of course he would get the hint and shut up.). My Uncle didn’t shut up; he blamed me for not knowing the word (!) and then asked his question again. Of course you know my answer, and the rest, they say, is history.

Mercifully he left the house around 3pm and I could chat with my friends on the phone. I heard the most interesting gist. It would seem that one of them (Name withheld) got asked out on a date by a well-meaning but terribly tactless boy who lived in her street. He has being a popular name in our discussions lately after her claimed he had been to Japan. Well it so happened that he went to her house to pick her up and then took her to a fast food where he put my dearest friend to shame. I tried my possible best to re-enact the scene below:

Waiter: Good afternoon, what would you like?

The Boy: Can I see a note?

Waiter and My Friend: ??? (Waiter speaks) Sorry?

The Boy: (becoming impatient) A Note! I’d like to see your note.

My friend: What are you talking about? What note is that?

The Boy: (whispering) the note where they write the food they are cooking.

Waiter: (She has a Gossip’s ears) you mean menu? Here you go. You can have a seat while you come to a decision.

My Friend: What do you need a menu for? This is a Chicken restaurant. They sell nothing except chicken and they all come in buckets.

The Boy: (reading the menu and looking confused) (His eyes bulge)

My friend: What’s wrong with you?

The Boy: (To the waiter) Sorry, I don’t see meat pie here. Do you sell meat pie? {Dakore’s comment: “Seriously?”}

Waiter and My Friend:   ???

My friend:  Meat pie is for babies. Why would you wish to buy meat pies?

The Boy: Because I cannot afford everything here. (His eyes bulge as he goes through the menu again) Look here, they say that 1 Chicken wing costs 1200 Naira with rice and that is the least here. That’s stealing! I buy rice at home with egg, plantain and spaghetti for nothing less than 150 Naira. Come let’s leave this horrible place because I only brought 700 naira. 2 meat pie in my street costs 500 Nair. I was even planning to buy coke.

My friend later went on to tell me that she had someone find out where he stays and it was a small broken down house not fit for a boy who has flown to Japan.

I just don’t get it. I know boys tend to do the craziest things to get our attention but do they have to lie? I can’t stand the sort that lies about and pretend to be someone they aren’t. They are probably misinformed. Even if you managed to get her attention she still doesn’t love you for whom you really are, she only loves you for who you are pretending to be and that’s kind of sad. Sorry my friend for that embarrassment. If only that boy had been honest and polite and he had simply bought her a small but beautiful gift with the money he had maybe he might have kept his good name still sparkling in our hearts. Now he’s an enemy, and enemies of Dakore Boyo don’t  go very far in life. Hehe.

This is not really his house. just a picture. Or not.

Thanks to Mr Warywatcher

How Do You Find NIgeria?

Thanks to Mr Warywatcher

How do you find Nigeria?

Now isn't this a fine patriotic way to begin a blog?

Dear Diary,

Today I woke up feeling like a princess (well a true born Nigerian Princess). I was near buried in layers and layers and layers and layers of fabric and made to strap a ton worth of beads around my neck and wrists. I went to church so i don't get eaten alive by my mother and I watched the Olympics a bit (Didn't get to see much Nigerian action though). I would have posted some really funny cartoon strips but Mr Warywatcher was too lazy to create them so now i have to get em out....eh today lol. (I actually started typing this blog post on the 29th of July by 11pm but i dozed off. :). I guess we both lazy).

About the Picture above, i believe i already made my point in my first online diary update. Till next time.

Yours Loving,

Dakore Boyo

This is how I must have looked like going to church today, but my gele (headgear wrapper thingy) was green and had all these glitters. I didn't carry a "Nigeria" Plaque of course but gimme one any day.

Dakore Boyo blog will be launched 29th July. thank you.

Hi.

My name is Dakore Boyo,

The posts you shall read after this one would better explain in detail all that I am about to tell you my beloved reader at the moment, but first and foremost allow me to welcome you to my blog.

I am a young girl from Lagos,  Nigeria with a head packed to bursting with all sorts of crazy stories and ideas.  I do appreciate art (even if my drawing skill is equivalent to that of a blind fish) and i favour humour and relaxation. I love music too, especially Nigerian music, but that is just me prattling ( i do that a lot; no wonder i have decided to set up a blog). blah bla blah....(ok stop that Dakore...)

I intend for my readers to know me better as the blog progresses. I also intend to entertain whoever and whatever stumbles upon this blog with every story, gossip, cartoon strips and other forms of media that i can conjure. But I prefer making my point with drawings so you might be acquainted with more than just a few artworks every now and then.

I believe we shall have so much fun. Its a fairly short wait until Sunday, the 29th of July and we could spend the time before then connecting with each other on facebook (just search for my name) or on twitter (@dakoreBoyo.)

Do not forget to check back here sunday evening to view my first post. I love you Lagos, but I love my readers more.

Take care.

Dakore Boyo.